The crack of Dawn

This post is going to wax slightly melodramatic. Just wanted to give you a heads up just in case you are not in the mood for melodrama :).

It is 7:00 am and my brain is simultaneously telling me to go back to sleep and worry about my job.

You see, on Friday I was informed that I am not going to be considered for the job I’ve had this past year. I do not blame anybody. When union members apply for positions they must be considered over non-union members. I get that and I’m totally fine with it.

That said, I am still worried. What if I can’t find anything in the next month? We can’t make it on one income. What if I have to work three jobs? How will this affect our lives?

In the cold light of dawn (it is still somewhat dark out) these thoughts are racing through my mind. I feel compelled to do what I have done in hard times past. Go to my computer and make spreadsheets of every possible scenario. If I make “x” what do we cut back on? Do we need to cut back on anything?

I am also comforted by the vows my sweet husband and I took just one short year ago. Wherewe promised to love and cherish one another “for richer or poorer.”  I know everything will be fine. I am more lucky than most. I have a roof over my head, clothes for my body, food for my belly, and people who love me. It will be okay, I just need to convince all parts of my mind that this is the case.

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